Monday, November 15, 2010

Avatar- review

Why am I talking about Avatar?  It’s been talked about to death.  But when you talk movies things always seem to swing around.  “What did you think of ‘Avatar’?”  In terms of a movie it’s ok at best but floored me how much hype it got when it ripped off so many sources.  I also have heard that there are people obsessed with the SCIENCE of Pandora.  I can tell you now there is no actual science in this movie.  You are more likely to find scientific fact in “Lord of the Rings” then you would in this movie.

First of let’s start off by the amount of sources it ripped off.  The direct plot is a rip off of “Dances with Wolves”. A soldier with wounded legs gets sent to a far off out post where he befriends the “savages.”  Know where else this plot was basically done? So let’s go through the list.  

• Dances with Wolves/ The Last Samurai- The basic plot
• Ferngully the Last Rainforest- The plot aspect of battling to spare a single tree vs. mechanical progress.
• The Matrix- Plugging in to become an “Avatar” version of you. As well as the armies mechs looking a lot like the mechs from the Battle of Zion.
• Aliens- Again the Mechs, as well as the scummy business man played by Giovanni Ribisi, who seemed to be playing the character Paul Riser was playing in Aliens almost verbatim.
• Return of the Jedi- The battle between the Ewoks and the high technologically advanced Empire resembled the fight between the Navi and the military.
• Pocahontas- The Princess of the natives saves her love before they can be executed for a misunderstood crime between cultures.
• Terminator- The ships looked like bigger versions of the Hunter/Killer flyer drones from Terminator.
It cracked me up that there were people that thought Pandora’s landscape could ever exist in any world.  Ok, according to an interview I heard on NPR those floating rocks are supposed to be made of the unobtainum.  And this planet has less gravity than earth.  Ok well let’s think about this a tad shall we. First thing I am wondering is if this is true why wouldn’t they miners simply get the stuff floating in the air instead of taking all the time mine it?

But that plot hole aside if the gravity is so light that rocks can float why the hell doesn’t everybody less dense then the rocks also float?  And for my biggest question how in the holy mother of fuck does water come down the rocks?  It’s not as if a river or snowy peaks is there to make a huge waterfall and even if it was if a rock floats why would the water fall?  That doesn’t make sense.  Just say its magic James Cameron and we’ll move on.

​Then we are expected to believe that all the creatures on this planet evolved with a sort of natural USB port to one another.  Its Cameron’s way of saying the Navi’s connection to nature is literal which is so blindingly transparent it’s like he is hitting us with a baseball bat.  The Navi can connect using their little tendrils to their mounts, pack animals, and beasts and yes even the trees.  SUBTLE JAMES!

Why is this movie considered such an amazing feat?  You people have seen it ALL before and it’s taken less of your time too.    Was it the special effects?  They were neat I’ll admit.  But it’s nothing we haven’t seen nor will not see better in another movie soon.  With the leaps we make in movie technology “Avatar” will be a footnote one day when we look back at the generation we all spent top dollar to see crap in 3-D. Meanwhile the next big special effects will wow us and take this one’s place.

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