Thursday, December 2, 2010

Resident Evil:Afterlife-review

Gimme some sugar baby!

           Seriously?  Why is do these movies keep getting progressively worse?  It’s not as if the game didn’t have a simple premise.  A biohazard goes out of control. Kills people.  People become zombies and assorted monsters. A couple survivors fight off the horde in unique situations.  That is it. A couple variations to the theme but basically that is all there is too it.

            The first one is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.  I think it’s one of the better video game movies around.  It’s a stupid and ludicrous movie but I like it.  The second took it a bit further.  It was more about Alice and Nemesis which I think made it really a stray off the format of survival horror it originally was.  Then by the third picture they took the plot and said “What the hell! Let’s just say the world has been taken over by the undead.”
            This idea is very anti-Resident Evil since in all the games they involve small areas of infection that you are dealing with.  Not things on a global scale.  Not only that but I really do not get why the Umbrella Corporation is still doing EVIL experiments if the world is totally screwed.  What could they possibly have to gain from it?  It’s not as if they can get money from the zombies. 

Eyes infected by the t-virus? There's a visine for that.
            So Alice is still around and by movie four she has found a shit ton of clones and has a slough of psychic powers that rival Jean Grey/The Phoenix.  So what do they do? In a quick battle they retcon the hell out her killing off the clones and making her much more human.  She then tries to wander the wastes looking for her friends keeping a video diary.  Who the hell is going to watch this and on what is a mystery.

            I also want to know how she is flying to all these locations with her single engine plane.  How does she fuel up?  I guess just like for the ammo on her gun she has a cheat code because we just about never see her reload.  One thing for sure this movie rides the bullet time effect into the ground like Slim Pickens riding the A-Bomb in Dr. Strangelove.  They milked the hell out of that effect. 

No shit Sherlock!
            The characters will kill one another needlessly only to prove they are transparently evil.  They will never ask some one’s name when that might answer a lot of questions.  Stupidly walking into a place with the enemies’ emblazoned symbol on it saying only “It’s a trap!” like Admiral Akbar” doesn’t make you look any brighter.  It makes you look like a tool. 

            It’s a bad movie and it sets itself up for a sequel with Sienna Guillory returning.  She rocks a jumpsuit like a champ.   But she and Milla together can’t save this one.  So rent it if you want.  It’s got some humor value.  Especially if you played the 5th game since some of the villains will look familiar.  Really though?  How much more do they intend to milk this?    

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