Sunday, April 17, 2011

Scream 4-review

Everyone wants a peek at the "Good version" of the movie.
            This movie sucks.  That is putting it lightly.  It is full of plot holes, red herrings, and people you don’t give a shit about.  My friends and I sat in a near empty theater and marveled at how Wes Craven could take a once likeable cast with a witty and charming script and toss in a few in jokes and young new actors with the survivors of the old movies and think it was going to be a good movie. 

Thanks to "True Blood" and "Veronica Mars" here I realized what I could be watching instead.
Let’s first take a trip back for a sec to when these movies were relevant.  That was over a decade ago.  Criminal science has actually grown in leaps and bounds. If there is a serial killer do you know who gets involved? The F.B.I. Not just Sheriff Doofy and his deputies of complete idiots.  They would check each crime scene like hawks and if the killer(s) so much as sweat or left a hair out of place they would have suspects.  Of course Woodsboro is apparently in a bizarre area where that sort of forensic pathology would never help a case.

I also want to point out that I think it’s incredibly strange that even if a woman wrote a book about real life murders that took place.  It is a really REALLY stupid idea that kids celebrate “Ghost face” like a fun boogey man.   That would be like Charles Manson having a book written about him, and then a movie and then having kids forget the victims and dress up like him and celebrate his killings year after year.  It’s a bit tasteless.

Then we have the horde of people in the movie to provide us with suspects and body counts.  First off if you ever said Gale Weather’s was a bitch in the other movies you must be eating platefuls of humble pie watching Courtney Cox return as a botoxed up she-wolf. She plays such an unlikable character that she is in the running with Margot Kidder in the Superman movies for most “Hatchet faced shrew in cinema” award.

Courtney is just upset because a house fell on her sister.
Of course Dewey is back as is Sydney...and nothing is new there.  They are the exact same characters they always are no more, no less.  What you do get is Hayden Panettiere, Rory Culkin, and Julia Robert’s niece herself, Emma Roberts in a major role.  Along with a mass of other names I can throw at you that you should not care about because honestly you will see them in bigger and better things if they actually have talent. 

Look, I'm a Roberts dammit! I don't have time to hunt down a killer.
It’s a lazy movie and it shows it in the story structure.  There is no regard for the time of the audience watching this drivel and sadly there is no regard for the fans that made this series what it is.  It oozes mediocrity and when it doesn’t it stops to give you eye-rolling boredom.  If you are an a big fan of the series watch it when it comes to DVD but do so knowing that it is not the fun it used to be.  If you are not a big fan you will not be missing anything putting this one aside.  Just know that this will be nobody’s favorite scary movie.

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