Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Oregonian-review

What the hell did I just watch?  I usually wonder this when I sit through David Lynch’s standard fair, but this movie was too much.  I’ve seen art house movies with a much more cohesive storyline. The underdeveloped characters speak very little dialogue. Clearly the director/writer Calvin Reeder is a person that believes movies are controversial when they are weird for the sake of being weird.  I sat for a long time trying to ponder what the point of any of what I saw was and couldn’t come up with anything.  

A woman, played by Lindsay Pulsipher, leaves a farm and goes on a journey into the woods and is assaulted by jump cuts, flash backs, annoying sound effects, and some of the stupidest and creepiest characters you’ll meet outside of an comic store. Other than the main character, the movie also offers the following unique character assortment: 

·         A creepy old woman that stares, crazy eyed, at the camera until you want to get up and leave uncomfortably. 
·         A stupid basketball mascot that follows her around silently, doing inappropriate things from time to time. 
·         A man who makes omelets with gasoline and urinates blood.
·         Two ever-smiling girls in white. One of which can scream at super high level volumes.

These are just a few of the freak show oddities you come across in this movie.   As far as I can tell there are no reasons for any of them to be there. 

This movie is getting mixed reviews online.  Frankly, I don’t see how a person can watch this and love it.  This is really a movie where nothing happens.  To make matters worse it’s not even filmed well.  As if it’s bad enough that you are sitting through this self-indulgent tripe, you are watching it on 16mm film stock which looks like someone used it as toilet paper.   There are so many loud noises and jump cuts you’ll think you are about to have a seizure.

I get that it’s supposed to be a symbolic movie.  The problem is that the symbolism is lost in the abstract nature of the movie.  It becomes a confusing mess and that is not what most people want to see.  The whole movie feels ad-libbed and phony, making you wonder if you are dreaming or is the main character dead and in hell.  I have no answers.  I do know this though.  If you see “The Oregonian” you will feel like you just went on a bad trip with Hunter S. Thompson to visit the Manson Family at Spahn Ranch while being attended to by Dr. Timothy Leary. That is one trip a person usually can afford to miss out on.

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