Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Teenage Zombies-review with spoilers

This movie is not nearly this exciting.
            The 50s monster movie sure had strange visions of what teen life was like for kids back then.  One movie that stands out for me as a really fun movie of this variety is “The Blob” which came out in 1958. It was essentially a boy cried wolf story and it was done well with a young Steve McQueen.  On the other side of the scale we have “Teenage Zombies”.

            While not awful a person can watch this and simply marvel at the amount of padding that goes into this movie.  The absolute grasping at straws the script does to come up with a plausible idea and how it comes together in this mess.  It begins with a quartet of teens going water skiing.  There is talking the ENTIRE movie of water skiing with no footage of the actual act of water skiing so I suppose it is implied.  The teens, Reg, Skip, Julie and Pam find Mullet Island during their fun afternoon.

            The island is run by a mad scientist named Doctor Myrna who intends to turn everyone in the U.S. into zombies. The island also apparently has a Foley guy that loves bird sounds because he uses the hell out of them. While exploring the island she takes their boat and captures them in cages.  A couple of their friends go to look for them with the aid of the Sheriff but it doesn’t go well.  They even find the island where their friends are and talk to Myrna but she gets rid of them. Just as two goons arrive to see the results of her mind control nerve gas.

Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab.
            She shows them it is not working well on some of the test subjects.  On a male subject he becomes listless and bored and the woman is full of rage. It sounds like they just went to a Jeff Dunham performance.  It works on a gorilla, so cheers all around.  Reg and Skip have found a way to break free. In the middle of the night they attempt to build a raft to get off the island.  The two teens arrive again with the Sheriff just as Myrna is about to zombie gas the two girls.  The two boys see what has happened and say, “Their minds are gone! Just like the rest!” Honestly with these two girls I’m shocked that Skip and Reg can tell the difference.  Then, in a shocking twist, it is revealed he is in cahoots with the criminals the whole time.  He says he was fine giving them criminals and drunks but killing kids is too far.

I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away.
            Because the Sheriff is waffling in their criminal enterprise, the goons shoot him.  The girls get gassed and a really lame fight breaks out.  It is more or less several games of twister rather than actual melees though.  The teens attempt to gas Dr. Myrna to find out the antidote.  She still won’t talk though and one of her goons reveals the antidote instead.  They test it on the Doctor and she throws the rest on the floor. 

            Somehow Julie and Pam are cured through editing.  The gorilla comes into the lab and tastes the de-zombification juice and goes ape (no pun intended) on one of the goons.  The teens then escape on the police boat.  When they arrive back at the police station an army peon greets them and tells them they will get medals and meet the President.  One of the kids tells them he just wants one thing his boat back.  Ha ha ha, those darn kids. 

I don't care how good it is.  I WILL NOT pay 50 cents for a milkshake.
            Like I said, it’s not the worst thing to watch.  It’s incredibly corny and the poster is much more exciting than the movie is.  If you are interested in making fun of something then it’s perfect for that. Otherwise, it’s something that really didn’t need to be made except to be drive-in fodder. 

No comments:

Post a Comment