Saturday, June 18, 2011

Green Lantern- Review

             This movie sucks.  Considering that there is a pretty decent cast list of folks tied to the project, you’d expect some level of care put into this. You would be very mistaken.  The writing is really what kills this movie.  The script is weak and gives you no reason to like Hal Jordan as a character. 

Ooh that smell.  Can't you smell that smell?
            So without liking Hal Jordan, played by Ryan Reynolds, we are forced to hope that he will overcome his flaws to become the hero Coast City needs. Only the movie really forgets to do that.  I mean it.  It’s such a boring piece of shit that it forgets to make him do anything except save his girlfriend and some rich folks and ignore the obvious threat in the room. 

            There are not even enough action scenes to make this worth a shit.  You’d think a person could come up with all sorts of awesome things if you could create ANYTHING with a cosmic ring.  That would have been a great time to really expand the possibilities of C.G.I.  They should have given the ring to a kid.  He at least would have had a real imagination.

Is it me, or does this alien look like Kelsey Grammer?
            The villain is built up the whole movie only to be tossed aside towards the end. Hal Jordan spends most of the movie whining about the power he received and quitting things that are his responsibility.    The Guardians of Oa, who are suppose to be the immortal champions of good in the universe, are in the running for the most idiotic and corrupt run sci-fi club outside of the Jedi high council. 

No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die.
            I don’t get how a ring can seek out Hal Jordan when looking for a man of great will power when the guy is a total asshole that lacks any responsibility and cares very little for his life or lives and property of others.  Kira even told me that this movie’s basic plot rips off “Kung Fu Panda”.  Having not seen it I cannot confirm this.  But her description of the movie makes the comparison apt.

            Bottom line is they had a chance at a decent summer blockbuster and instead phoned it in.  They gave up a lackluster script where no one could possibly care about the protagonist.  The antagonist is not threatening and the story itself would be laughed at by the biggest comic book geeks.   My advice, don’t see this movie.

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