Horrible Bosses-review

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me for me for me!

I’ve been hearing a lot about how great this movie is.  It is supposed to be super funny and the best comedy of the summer.  I think “Bridesmaids” still has this one beaten. “Horrible Bosses” is a funny movie but it’s was not the side splitting movie I was hoping for. 

The main characters are played by Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis.  Charlie is, for all intents and purposes, playing his Charlie character from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” except he has graduated from “Charlie work” at Paddy’s Pub to being a dental assistant. Bateman and Sudeikis take turns as the most milquetoast characters that should be for the part.  Considering that there are three characters it would be nice if you at least made two of them interesting in different ways, instead of two shades of bland.

Mmmm waxy!

The bosses are very fun to watch.  I think Spacey is too often cast as a “know-it- all schmuck.  Since so many people think so much of him as a great actor I’d be impressed to see him play something other than diabolical dickhead or sarcastic sleaze for a change. The two that really were fun to watch were Jennifer Aniston as a sexy dentist that Charlie works for that won’t stop trying to get in his pants.  It’s actually a lot of fun to see her play this sort of role.  Then we have Colin Farrell as the cokehead boss who is a grade a douche.  He was hilarious and it bummed me out that there wasn’t more of him in this movie.

If I didn't have to work for a living I wouldn't sell you my snot.

Throughout the movie you get the feeling that there are gags that they wanted to do or develop more with the interesting bosses but instead they decided to focus mainly on Kevin Spacey. This would have been fine if his plot hadn’t been ludicrous.  In fact if the three main characters had one ounce of spine between them regarding their bosses none of this story would be plausible. 

To sum up though, “Horrible Bosses” is a funny movie.  It’s certainly not the best thing I’ve seen this summer but it did a decent job with what it had.  I had higher expectations for it though considering the cast and that is a bad choice.  If you go into this with a better mindset you are less likely to be as disappointed as I was. 

Winnie the Pooh-review

Is this what you would call a Kangaroo court?

Well it’s good a see that Disney is taking things back to its roots.  “Winnie the Pooh” is a cute bit of nostalgia that is worth seeing to remember the times when we loved the characters of A.A Milne. I was impressed that they continued the stories of Milne in order to create a fresh movie that is actually very likeable and cute. 

First off I want to give the short at the beginning of the movie the attention it deserves.  It was a great short called “The Ballad of Nessie.” This short actually has a lesson in the form of showing a Loch Ness monster having a hard time with her life that it IS okay to cry in life.  I think that is a good lesson for kids.

I am Roger Rabbiting the hell out of this performance.

As for the main feature “Winnie the Pooh” brings a lot of the same charm we’ve come to expect from the original movie.  There are some things that have changed of course.  Many of the voices are different.  Christopher Robin has an almost cockney English accent which is outright obnoxious.  Rabbit is super over the top to the top now.  He almost seems to be channeling the spirit of Roger Rabbit for his performance.

It has some odd choices too in terms of script as well.  They break the fourth wall a lot in talking with the narrator, played by John Cleese.  Eeyore has taken his depression to new heights when he tells his friends, “We’re all gonna die.”   That’s pretty dark for a stuffed donkey.

  

One weekend a month my ass.

Finally, and I think this a big change.  I always found the friendship between Pooh and Piglet a lot more enduring in the original movie.  In this one Pooh is sort of a dick to Piglet.  Especially if it means he can score some honey.  Bottom line is that this a cute movie that is fun to watch and is probably a lot better for little kids than people with nostalgia goggles.  The original is still more heartwarming and more a testament to youth than this one which seems to just want to ride on the other's coattails. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part 2- review

Boo yah!

Okay, for starters I guess if you’ve seen the other 7 films no matter what I write you are GOING to see this one.  If you’ve read the books you KNOW what’s going to happen.  It’s not a colossal shock to any fan of the series.  All in all it’s an okay movie.  Nitpicking aside, it’s an ending worth watching for any fan of the series.  There are lots of good points to match the flaws.

For starters Harry Potter turns in a decent performance.  As do the rest of the adult actors.  Especially Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort, who seems to be having a lot of fun in the roll as the dark lord.  John Hurt and Kelly MacDonald give us decent scenes for such small roles as well.  There are colorful effects (when you can see them) and there are a lot of battle scenes.  It does a fine job illustrating the story in the time given without coming off too long. 

I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.

Now, on the other hand there are a few things that made me disappointed.  For starters, they shot a lot of this film in dark areas so the effects on some of the supernatural characters are hard to see.  There was a really odd bit of lame editing when Harry was standing next to Hagrid and it’s noticeable that neither one is actually there.  They are using different sized people for scale and not showing their faces.  This is a cheap effect that I would think we are beyond at this point in CGI.

The forced romance is still a bother to me.  Ginny kisses Harry with about the passion she would give a cousin. At least it is at a slightly appropriate time.  Hermione and Ron toss out a make out scene after a magical disaster…just because.  The deaths which were supposed to be sort of a heavy deal in the book are glossed over like they are nothing important.  It really shows just how trivial these characters were when you can look at them and not care that they are dead.

Finally, there is the ending which I think was the biggest shock of all.  As many of you know the ending takes place 19 years after the events of the battle.  So why is it that the director would choose to use the same damn cast as they are now with a bit of CGI aging, well to the men at least? The women look like they should be still in high school.  The men look like they are playing dress up. 

Don't cross the streams.

Why wouldn’t they just cast adults as the aged characters?  Did they think we wouldn’t recognize them?  I remember going to my 10 year high school reunion.  EVERYONE looks different after 10 years let alone 19. I will not linger too long on this because it really isn’t a long scene but it was distracting to say the least.

All in all the series is a good one and well worth watching. This one movie is okay.  It wasn’t my favorite of the series but it has its place and it works well for the series as a whole.  If you can give them a watch I recommend it, but read the books first.  It’s worth the time and it adds to story when you watch it and know who everyone is.  Happy watching.     

Deadfall-review

Wanna ride in my van little boy?

     Oh my god. I do normally enjoy watching Nicholas Cage movies because he takes overacting to a unique extreme.  I thought it didn’t get much more over the top than “Bad Lieutenant” or “The Wicker Man” but then I saw “Deadfall”.  Good lord.  It’s in a class of its own.   In all fairness at least “Bad Lieutenant” had a decent director and it was put together in decent fashion.  “The Wicker Man” is seen more for comedic value now and at least has its own solid concept to stand on since it’s based off a classic horror movie.

     Deadfall was made in 1993 and directed by Christopher Coppola.  So that means that the director is Nicholas Cage’s brother.  Michael Biehn plays the main character; a big time con man that gets in good with his Uncle’s criminal family.  His Uncle, played by James Coburn has a lackey named Eddie, played by Nicholas Cage who is a loud and obnoxious jerk that loves to make a scene. 

Come on! I ooze class!

     The movie is not made well at all.  It gives a lot of narration, which makes the movie less about showing and more about telling. This seems really pointless in a movie.  It’s all a fairly predictable formula of betrayal that has been done before and done better in many other crime movies.  I get the feeling that it wanted to make itself feel like a noir style movie.  The main character is not really established enough to become someone you grow attached to.   I didn’t really care.  The ending was a bit of a F-U twist. 

Way to screw Corporal Hicks movie

      James Coburn is good in this movie.  I’ll give him that.  But otherwise you should not bother unless you want to watch Cage make a fool of himself.  Even the poster makes no sense.  Nicholas Cage is front and center looking as he does normally.  Not only is he not the main character, but he spends in the movie with a moustache and bad toupee.  Way to shaft Biehn there.    Come on he fought the Terminators and the Aliens.  Give him a little respect.

Everything Must Go-review

This is a country song that writes itself.

Will Ferrell can do drama.  In “Stranger than Fiction” he really stretches these muscles and I think it’s one of this best roles.  In “Everything Must Go” he shows that he has raised the bar.  He plays an alcoholic who has just lost his job and wife has left him.  He finds all his stuff out on the front of his lawn, so after a few (hundred) beers he starts to sell all his crap. 

           

            The acting is great and the relationships between Will Ferrell, as Nick and Samantha, his neighbor and his friend, an overweight grade schooler named Jordan.  You can tell he is depressed, vulnerable and has hit rock bottom and it’s not funny in ways like his normal movies.  This movie is far more subtle.  There is a scene that is funny just in the way he looks at this neighbor and his wife, nothing is said. However, the looks say it all.

Nice day, but I can still use more cowbell.

            There is a lot of catharsis to a movie like this and I think that it says a lot that it didn’t find a large audience in theaters.  I can only hope that folks give it a chance when it comes to DVD. It’s dark but it works for it.  I did overhear a guy in the parking lot bitching about it saying he expected it to be a side splitting funny movie.  That has to suck for the actors trying to break free from their usual genre. 

Even the kid from "Notorious" knows a deal when he sees one.

            There is a lot of suffering to behold in a movie like this.  I am just glad that the movie shows a side of life that is realistic and dark.  Life can indeed be a cruel joke and putting one step in front of the other can take a lot out of you.  It tells its story and is quirky sometime.  The characters are all likable and it makes for a very well developed movie well worth the money and time.

           

The Gate- review with spoilers

Will I ever be in anything better than "Blade"?

I think many folks will remember this rare gem from 1987. It’s considered a horror movie, but even by the 80s standards it’s pretty tame.  It’s rated PG-13 so there are no swear words or gore to speak of.  In fact it almost feels like it was aimed at the teen demographic anyway.  It does have oodles of spooky imagery and it’s at times but it’s also goofy as hell to watch as an adult.

It stars a young Stephen Dorff, in first staring role as Glen, a young lad that has a bad dream about a tree near his house getting hit by lightening.  When he wakes up he sees that the tree was in fact hit by lightening and workmen are removing it from the yard.  As they yank out the stump a geode falls free.  Glen’s friend Terry convinces him to go digging for more.

There is no Dana. Only ZUUL!

They find a large geode and where the tree used to be as well as what appears to be a hell mouth.  Glen gets a splinter and leaves some blood behind in the hell mouth.  Oopsie daisy.  Glen’s parents leave town for three days leaving Glen’s older Sister Alexandra “Al” in charge.  Like a smart 15 year old she throws a party.  They play “light as a feather stiff as a board” with Glen and manage to actually levitate him.  That night Terry sees an apparition of his dead mother only to have it turn into the now dead dog, Angus.

Nobody seems that broken up about the dog. Terry goes home and is listening to some heavy metal album that stops mid song to start talking like a Moody Blues song.  He starts to piece the puzzle together that the lyrics are based on something called “The Dark Book” (ooh clever title).   He then tries to convince Glen that the hole in his backyard is a gateway for demonic forces.  He figures that the only thing left is a sacrifice to be left in the whole.  He didn’t count on the lazy dipshit that Al pawned Angus on to dump the body in the hell mouth.

Oh yeah, this asshole is given the body of their pet to take to animal control to be disposed.  I guess they are under the delusion that Angus is going to get a great ceremonial burial from them. However, because it is closed, the asshole drives Angus back to their home and just throws it in the nearest hole.  Problem solved on his end.

They're eating her and then they're going to eat me.

Now that the sacrifice is complete a pair of demonic arms start grabbing at Al under the bed (tell me this movie wasn’t made for kids).   Terry and Glen save her and bump into Glen’s folks who are demons in disguise.  They are then attacked by swarms of small demons.  Now to be absolutely fair these things are really cool.  I have NOTHING but respect for a movie that uses stop motion and they do it really well.  So they get mad respect for cool looking demons and the amount of work that went into them.

Glen and Terry try to stop them reading the Bible until Terry falls into the hell mouth.  He is attacked by demons. Glen throws the Bible down into the hole and it explodes like a holy hand grenade.  After that the hole appears sealed.  That night Terry and Glen watch TV when a wall breaks open revealing a dead body. The body wakes up, grabs Terry and drags him into the wall, which seals behind him.

The zombie/demon then attacks Al.  After a struggle he gets her and vanishes with her as well.  Glen realizes that they were two sacrifices needed to summon the great old one (Cthulhu?).  He realized that a rocket that Al intended to give him as a gift is supposed to be a symbol of light, purity and love and should be able to stop the beast.  So he attempts to get it to launch it but the matches keep going out.

I'd make an eye joke, but that seems too cornea.

A huge demonic entity has risen out of the floor.  It grabs Glen and touches his hand.  Then it leaves. Glen sees that his hand has grown an eye in the palm.  So he stabs at it with a piece of broken glass.  The demon returns and Glen fires the rocket into the demon causing him to explode with a fireworks display. 

Al, Terry and Angus return from the closet completely fine and unhurt.  They just need to worry about how to explain the damage of the house to their returning parents.  Like I said, it’s not a bad movie.  However, I don’t’ think it’s for adults.  The 80s gave us tons of the iconic horror movies we love to this day.  It’s hard not to appreciate the Lovecraft themes in it and smile at the cool stop motion monsters that you would never see in modern movies.  Sill, this one feels like it is really for the kids to watch and get nightmare fuel.

My DVD/Blu ray Collection