Monday, August 1, 2011

Frozen-review with spoilers

Take one down, pass it around, 47 bottles of beer on the wall.
            I saw the preview for this movie and became very interested.  “Frozen” for the most part is a lot like “Open Water”.  The big difference is that the dialogue is a lot better and people are not eaten by sharks in open water.  Instead the plot is about a young couple and their friend that get forgotten on a chairlift of a ski resort.
             When it begins we meet Joe, Dan, and Dan’s girlfriend Parker. They find a way to sucker the lift operator into letting them ride for basically a reduced rate.  Joe is played by Shawn Ashmore, who ironically was Iceman in the X-Men movies and Parker who is played by Emma Bell who would eventually find fame as Amy in the television show “The Walking Dead”.   When riding the ski lift we find that folks in this movie are really dicks to people when the lift stops for even a minute shouting at folks to get it in gear.

            When the resort is pretty much deserted they convince the lift operator to go on one more run.  The operator is called into the boss's office and is replaced by a co-worker who sees three other folks ski down and thinks it’s the three that were on the lift.  So he shuts off the power stranding them.  They assume it’s a technical problem and bitch about it for a while. The dialogue is actually pretty good.

Ewww! Gum!
            Here they talk about the worst way to die.  Eaten by a shark is brought up.  I immediate think more about “Open Water” even more.  The lights go out and they realize they are really fucked.  Normally I would just suck it up, close my eyes and go for the tumble.  Still they sit there freezing.  A snowcat comes along driven by Kane Hodder, who played Jane Voorhees in several “Friday the 13th” movies.  He doesn’t see them throwing shit down in front of him.
            They realize that the resort is closed for a week.  So Dan has no choice but to jump.  He does and breaks both his legs on the ground. Joe attempts to move to another chair lift which is not as high above ground.  After traversing a few feet on the cable, he returns to the chair lift, his hands cut, and holds Parker, preventing her from watching the scene below. Dan is surrounded by a pack of wolves that tear him apart and devour him.

            The next day Parker wakes up to find one her hands stuck to the safety bar.  She pulls it free tearing off a lot of skin in the process.  She and Joe are suffering from frost bite badly.  Joe gets some new resolve and decides to climb the cable again cutting the shit out of his hands.  Joe climbs down the support pole ladder and tries to escape on Parker’s snowboard down the mountain while the wolves chase after him.
Ah man! I fell right in the dog doo!
             Parker's ski lift chair begins tipping as it has started to loosen from its supporting cable. After another night comes and goes Parker realizes help is not coming.  She begins to attempt a jump but the bolt on the chair snaps and the chair falls.  The supporting cable catches the chair so Parker can get down at a safe height.  The chair falls on Parker’s ankle injuring it.  She begins sliding down the mountain and she comes across the bloody remains of Joe being eaten by the wolves.  She makes it to the road where she collapses.  Eventually a car arrives and comes to her aid.

            Like I said, it’s a good movie.  It’s creepy and the dialog is really clever.  I was a big fan of the fact that the wolves were ACTUAL wolves and not CGI jokes. It’s a bit ridiculous that anyone would be stranded that long without everyone just jumping and rolling with the damage and hoping for the best.  It’s a better movie than “Open Water,” though a less terrifying concept. 

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