Terminator Genisys – review

Terminator Genisys is the fifth film of the franchise.  First off, I hate this title. Calling it Genisys in this misspelled fashion just looks like what a kid from the 1990s would call “kool.” The movie itself takes a nostalgic look back into the old familiar territory of the first film and changes much of the mythos of the series. It is a bold move to basically toss out the content of the previous 2 movies and start a new trilogy. 

The end of the war with the machines is nigh and John Connor, played by Jason Clarke, leads the resistance in destroying Skynet. When they discover they sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Connor, played by Emilia Clarke, back in 1984. Kyle Reese, played by Jai Courtney, is sent back in time to protect Sarah, however when he arrives he finds that Sarah isn’t the helpless young women he expected to find and she is guarded by a Terminator, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, which she has affectionately named “Pops.”

The acting is fine. Jai Courtney does a good job at playing Kyle Reese but Emilia Clarke is just too cute to come off as tough as Sarah Hamilton did in the role. Arnold Schwarzenegger is entertaining, but he should be, he had four movies to perfect the role. I generally like Jason Clarke but it was as if the filmmakers went out of their way to make John Connor as much of jackass as he was in the other films. At this point I really begin to wonder if this dolt is ever really worth saving.

The story is really complicated if you are new to the franchise. Going back to elements of the past and essentially re-writing history is a novel idea.  The action sequences are fun to watch but would have impressed me more using practical effects. The movie basically warns us of how humanity has gotten lost in technology and Skynet will become aware right under our noses.

If you enjoyed Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day this movie will be right up your alley. If you are a stickler for details and wonder how this can fit in with all four films you will be disappointed. Next time they should be bold and make the movie rated R like the good films of the series. It isn’t really ground breaking but it is entertaining and will kill a couple of hours. Just be sure to stay until after the credits.

Choose Their Kill – A New Venue For Retro Humor Horror

CryptTV, the digital studio co-founded by director Eli Roth, recently released the YouTube sensation, Choose Their Kill. Directed by Standards of Living director Aaron Mento, Choose Their Kill is a “choose-your-own-adventure” style of digital series. All choices feature colorful characters and over-the-top deaths, which make for a fun watch.

The scenarios primarily revolve around a mime, a fitness nut, or a green energy icon going about their daily business when someone does something that annoys them. The viewer is then presented with some options on how to dispose of this annoyance. There is an option to spare the person, however, that person usually meets a grim fate nonetheless.

This is a really fun series with good acting and a great concept behind it. I imagine there will be a lot of great ideas down the pipeline as director Aaron Mento is a very creative writer/director. If you are a fan of odd and dark humor this will certainly be up your alley. The videos can be found now on CryptTV’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPwJTNaDDuQ&list=PLfarU_76noqqLsnTLM4oXk2C3_v-L9eHN.

Jurassic World – review

When I was in sixth grade I saw the first Jurassic Park movie and it amazed me. It was fun, it was scary, and it was smart. Two sequels later and things were not looking good for the Jurassic Park franchise. Unfortunately, it seems that the series has not aged well. While still being better than the past two sequels, Jurassic World leaves a lot to be desired.

Twenty-two years after the events of Isla Nublar, Jurassic World is a new and fully functioning theme park. Brothers Zach and Gray Mitchell take a trip to the park to visit their aunt Claire, the park’s operations manager, played by Bryce Dallas Howard.  Soon after their arrival one of the newest genetically created attractions, the Indominus Rex, escapes and starts a killing rampage. Owen Grady, played by Chris Pratt, is a Velociraptor trainer who comes to Claire’s aid in stopping the rogue dinosaurs.

Jurassic World uses a distracting amount of C.G.I. Just about nothing looks real and at times it takes you out of the movie to be watching the equivalent of a cartoon. Even the door to the Jurassic World Park looked poorly pasted, like a Photoshop image. It made me nostalgic for the animatronics used in the original Jurassic Park film.

The acting is fine and Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard have a fun chemistry that works to make the movie entertaining. The problem is that the plot is juggling various balls and as an audience member I didn’t know which one to focus on. Throughout the story you have the divorce plot of the parents of Zach and Gray, you have the escaped Indominus Rex, you have InGen hoping to use dinosaurs and military weapons, and you have a romance subplot with the two leads.

If producers come at us with a new Jurassic Park movie I hope that they at least have the originality to make a movie where they don’t need kids in the cast. They borrow a lot of elements from the past movies, which they do seldom enough to not be obnoxious. There was some good build up to seeing what the Indominus Rex would look like. The problem was that the pay off was not worth it.

If ever there was a scene that showed me there was-- at one point-- a good movie idea here let me illustrate the following scene. Owen gets caught in an unexpected chain of events involving his velociraptors. He spies one in the grass and they both catch each other’s eyes. There is a look of momentary understanding between the two of them before a rocket kills the raptor and sends Owen off his feet. Owen then stares silently at the burnt wreckage where his former friend used to stand.  All of this is done without words and it is probably one of the best scenes in the movie.

Jurassic World is not a bad film but it is not a theater-worthy film either. I would recommend it for rental for sure. It is fun on occasion but lacks the story direction of any of the previous movies. There are moments that seem funny and self-aware but they are few and far between. If you are a fan of the rest of the franchise you will enjoy the beast on beast action and insane mad science on display. If you are looking to start the franchise I recommend going back to the beginning before seeing this one.

San Andreas – review

This movie is not good and I honestly don’t expect to remember it for long. It is a cookie-cutter disaster film that is predictable and void of originality. Even if you can suspend your disbelief enough to enjoy the action, it is ruined by bad C.G.I. of which would be more appropriate for a cut-scene in a video game. It should have been a lot more fun considering the cast.

Los Angeles Fire Department helicopter rescue pilot Ray Gaines, played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, is in the midst of a divorce from his wife Emma, played Carla Gugino.  After discovering that Emma and his daughter Blake, played by Alexandra Daddario, are moving in with Emma’s new boyfriend, Ray is noticeably upset. Soon a series of earthquakes tear the city apart and it’s up to Ray to save his estranged family.

I was irritated that Ray is supposed to be a heroic fireman when the first thing he does in a massive crisis is basically steal a helicopter and use it to rescue his own family. People are dying left and right of him and you can count on half a hand the amount of times he goes out of his way to save strangers. Besides the rotten protagonist we have the massive dose of 9-11 and Titanic imagery that seems more like pandering than homage.

The C.G.I does no favors for this movie. Most of the shots look like green screen nightmares or the shots of people who move with the same realism of a living ventriloquist dummy. The plot is just what you’d expect from a disaster movie and is incredibly predictable. Some of the scenes even felt added for filler material to make it full length.

The writing is so weak that at no point did I feel that the main characters were at risk. With nothing at risk it really doesn’t make me give a crap what the characters do since the movie doesn’t have the guts to do something risky or original. In the end we get a movie that gives us a weak visual spectacle of an earthquake as seen by folks that, by all rights, should be dead several times over.

If they went for a more aware, tongue-in-cheek disaster movie this might have been great. The Rock and the rest of the cast would have been able to accomplish that. As it is I wouldn’t recommend this movie unless you are a die-hard fan of the Rock or just have a desire for bad science and patriotic imagery. It might be worth a rental if it wasn’t so forgettable.

Top Ten Last Words For Movie Characters

Movies have the power to move audiences in hundreds of different ways. When a character meets their end, more often than not, they are given powerful final words. Sometimes the words are amusing-sometimes sad- but too many to count are quotable and have joined the pop culture lexicon. This leads to what I believe is the top ten best last words for characters in movies.

10. “Abracadabra.” - The Prestige

Turn of the century magician, Alfred Borden is arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. Through the twists and turns of the story we learn of his rivalry with magician Robert Angier and how he came to be on death row. This leads to him being led to the gallows and saying his famous last words before meeting his death.

9. “We… Are…Groot.” - Guardians of the Galaxy

Groot, the tree-man of the space faring group the Guardians of the Galaxy, needs to save the universe from an evil alien creature with destruction on his mind. In an act of bravery he protects the rest of the group from what would otherwise be a fatal explosion. Because his vocabulary is so limited, his words are a testament to how much he regards his new companions.

8. “Is that the best you can do, you pansies?” - Sin City

Said by Marv after being sent to the electric chair. Marv goes on a killing spree to find who killed a woman named Goldie who he is in love with. Marv’s thirst for violence, revenge, and primitive justice gets him the killer at the cost of his own life. It takes a couple of rounds of electricity to bring an almost unstoppable hulk like Marv down. 

7. “James, earn this…earn it.” - Saving Private Ryan

World War II and a squad of men are sent to collect Private James Ryan and send him home. Captain Miller and his men need only to collect Private Ryan, however he refuses to leave his comrades defending a bridge. This leads to a violent battle where nearly everyone is killed, including Captain Miller who tells Ryan to “Earn this.” meaning to be a good man. Private Ryan spends the rest of his life doing so to make the sacrifices of the soldiers worthwhile.

6. “Remember what I said about seein’ a light when you die? It ain’t true. I can’t see a damn thing.” – Tombstone

A rival gang of cowboys has shot Morgan Earp. As he lays dying on a pool table he remembers a conversation he had with his brothers about death. He offers his point of view of what it feels like to slip off the mortal coil. This pivotal moment is acted extremely well by Bill Paxton and it brings much of the reckoning on the cowboy’s head’s for their actions.

5. “Why don’t we just…wait here for a little while…see what happens?” – The Thing

After battling a shape-shifting alien in the harsh Antarctic weather, R.J. MacReady is ready to die of exposure. When Childs, another member of the research station shows up unexpectedly, he is unsure if Childs is himself or the monstrous thing as well. Exhausted and letting the cold of Antarctica take him, he has given up the good fight and welcomes whatever may come next.

4. “Clever girl…” - Jurassic Park

Robert Muldoon is hunting the loose velociraptors in Jurassic Park. The dinosaurs show signs of intelligence and he clearly respects their lethal nature as well as their wits. When he thinks he has the drop on one, he aims his gun and is suddenly attacked on the side by a raptor that was using the other to distract him.

3. “Made it, Ma! Top of the World!” - White Heat

Cody Jarrett is a psychopathic criminal with mother issues. After a heist at a chemical plant goes wrong he laughs manically shooting at police and even killing his own surrendering gang members. After shouting his last lines he blows up the chemical tankers he is on creating a massive fireball. Truly an extreme end to an extreme personality.

2. “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is Never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. - The Princess Bride

Vizzini has kidnapped the Princess Buttercup and has begun a battle of wits with a masked stranger who wants to take her from him. They both have a serving of wine with the goal of inevitably figuring out which goblet contains poison. Vizzini is a Sicilian with a silver tongue and will try to get the masked man to give away where the poison is. After much chatter he laughs in the masked man’s face before dying, not realizing that both glasses were poisoned.

1. I’ve… seen things…you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off of Orion. I watched C-Beams…glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.  All those moments will be lost… in time…like tears…in the rain. Time to die.” - Blade Runner

This is possibly the best last line for a movie character ever. Roy Batty is a replicant and has a limited lifespan of four years. He is close to his expiration date and is being hunted by a police officer trained to kill replicants. All he wants is to live longer because he has seen so much and has so much more he wants to see. It is a great line that thematically fits the movie’s theme of the brevity of life.

There are many other lines that should also be considered honorable mentions. For example:

"Mein Führer, I can walk!"- Dr. Strangelove from Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

"I can't lie to you about your chances... but, you have my sympathies." – Ash from Alien

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't mommy and daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?" - Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket

"You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." – Obi Wan Kenobi from Star Wars: A New Hope

Even though these characters may die on-screen, their iconic last lines ensure they won’t soon die out in our memories. With great writing and witty lines that have been added to the pop-culture lexicon, it is certain that we will be quoting these moments for years to come.

Mad Max: Fury Road – review

The Mad Max franchise is one of high-octane action and Fury Road is no exception. After a brief narration the movie takes ahold of your adrenal gland and bites down hard. The action is nearly non-stop, the acting is solid, and the effects are very bombastic and fun.

“Mad” Max Rockatansky, played by Tom Hardy, roams the wasteland of post-nuclear war Australia. He is captured by a strange gang called the War Boys and used as a blood bag for Nux, a War Boy played by Nicholas Hoult. After a daring escape he finds that the War Boys leader had wives that escaped with Furiosa, played by Charlize Theron. Max decides to help out the wives in escaping their tyrannical matrimony.

The acting is fantastic. Charlize Theron is a believable action star.  Nicholas Hoult brings a great performance as a zealous character that is strengthened by war like an ancient Viking. The effects are insane and are as bombastic as a Baz Luhrmann movie. There are flame throwers everywhere, people on stilts, and people that use bungee cords.

The story itself is much like a western. Max could be considered the Clint Eastwood “Man with no name.” The only big flaw is that not much is explained. Why is Furiosa missing an arm? Who is the girl Max always sees in hallucinations? Still, the movie doesn’t seem weakened by not giving definitive answers. It is beautifully filmed and doesn’t let up on the action scenes. If you are a fan of the franchise or action films in general it is a must see. It is stylistic and fun. You don’t need to be familiar with the original material.

Ex Machina – review

The sci-fi genre is rife with films that query about the wisdom of creating computers with functioning artificial intelligence.  Ex Machina seems to ask a lot of valid questions regarding the Turing test when it comes to the nature of programmable behavior. It is a smart film that has some great ideas and will have you pondering long after the movie is over.

Caleb, played by Domhall Gleeson, wins a lottery to spend a week with the CEO of Bluebook, a fictional search engine. He is greeted by Nathan, played by Oscar Isaac, who tells him he has created an android with near perfect AI and he needs Caleb to perform a Turing test on her. The Turing test is a test, which is used when an interrogator is needed to ask questions of a person to determine whether they are a human or computer. The android, Ava, played by Alicia Vikander, meets Caleb and soon develops a strong friendship with him.

The psychology of this movie is fascinating. I couldn’t help but wonder what questions I would ask to determine what makes a human truly human. The philosophical nature bleeds into a psychological story when we realize that some characters might not be as truthful as others and Ava is not the first android to be built.  The acting is great and the small cast really utilizes their relationships together to make this a compelling film. Oscar Isaac in particular is intimidating and yet also the sort of person who has a magnetic personality. The set is also interesting because there is a huge contrast between the home of Nathan, which is bare of nearly all décor and the land surrounding it since it is around some of the most scenic glaciers, forests, and waterfalls.

Ex Machina is a heavy movie. If you are into sci-fi with some content that will lead to conversations then this is for sure a movie you will enjoy. If you are into lighter films or movies with heavy action then it is probably good to give it a pass. There are just some existential questions you will be coming to terms with at some point.