Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Killer Klowns from Outer Space-Review


Probably where they got the idea for this movie.
            Oh man.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I just had to try a movie called “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”?  There is no way this is going to be good.  It’s got a cult following.  But hell, so does “Troll 2”.  It’s got fucking nobodies in the cast unless you are a special lead paint chewing spaz who considers John Allen Nelson, the smug ass from “Deathstalker 3: Warriors from Hell” to be a star; or the Dean in “Animal House” that gives out double secret probation.
This movie gives Pennywise dignity.  Pennywise!!!!
            This movie is about aliens that look like clowns that come to a small town in there circus tent ship.  Then they slowly start killing off the community by using weapons like popcorn guns and ray guns that wrap people up in cotton candy cocoons.  Some how this idiotic invasion gets so far as to kills a huge percentage of the town before they even figure out a way to kill them is to destroy their big red noses.  This causes them to spin like Tasmanian Devils and explode.
Ok Bozo! You're going on double secret probation.
            Most people who see the clowns think they are whimsical.  I find that so odd since many folks I talk to are terrified of clowns that have normal human faces and these freaks are distorted to fun house mirror varieties.  So besides the other weapons you’d see Caesar Romero use as the Joker in the 60s version of Batman we also see shadow puppets that eat people, killer puppets, balloon animal bloodhounds, and pies at are apparently corrosive join the Klowns arsenal. 
            Not that it matters even when the Klowns have the upper hand they let the small group of humans fight their gigantic leader who should just stomp them with a clown shoe but instead gets his nose popped by a pin and the whole space ship explodes.  That is a hell of a design flaw! I don’t see how it can even have a cult following honestly.  It’s not like “Rocky Horror Picture Show” where you can love the music and the call backs are all hilarious.  And it’s no “Plan 9 from Outer Space” where you can at least watch Ed Wood style schlock. 
Do any of these guys look whimsical to you? 
            Maybe if it was made with some gore.  Or had some memorable lines I could see why it would be loved by people.  But it’s such a forgettable movie.  There are a few homage’s to Hitchcock you can spot but honestly who cares? Do you think Hitchcock would want to be honored in anyway from “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”?  I think Alfred would rather you save your money and other people’s time.

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