Showing posts with label vampire hunter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampire hunter. Show all posts

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter-review

Tongue in cheek historical fiction is nothing new.  This year, audiences got treated to the Poe murder mystery in “The Raven.”  Now we have a new movie based on a hit novel of the same name- a vision of Abraham Lincoln’s life as he goes from young adult to the “Great Emancipator” all the while hunting vampires.

As a boy, young Abraham Lincoln sees his mother killed by a vampire.  He vows vengeance against vampires and with the aid of a vampire ally, he learns their weaknesses. When he moves to Illinois, he spends his nights armed with his silver covered axe, killing vampires.  How can he find that he can fight better as a statesman then as a warrior?

The acting is pretty fun.  Benjamin Walker took the tongue in cheek job as Abraham Lincoln and made it work as a fun, dark, action role.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Mary Todd Lincoln does a good job playing the strong character.  There are other characters that are also very well cast.  I was a bit disappointed Robin McLeavy and Alan Tudyk have such short amounts of screen time.  They are better actors that deserved better. 

The plot is not bad.  At times it seems like it would be predictable.  Then you are sideswiped by over-the-top goofiness.  At the very least it’s something different.  The flaws are pretty minor.  The effects are so-so.  The CGI has a tendency to be blurry and choppy at times.  The villains are 2-dimensional and don’t really seem to have much motivation beyond cartoonish super villainy.

This is still an okay movie.  It’s certainly nothing amazing but it’s at the very least worth a rental or a matinee.  It’s a neat distraction where if you can allow suspense of the disbelief about the vampires, then you can relax on the gaping holes in the historical context.  So go give it a watch if you are in the mood for some mindless silliness.   

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter- review with spoilers

​So I saw this a while ago and I am only now revisiting it.  I loved this title.  The title sold me instantly.  But the movie was such a titanic piece of dog shit that it still makes me wonder what the hell people were thinking.  Vampires are killing lesbians in Ottawa.  So Jesus teams up with Mary Magnum and El Santo, a Mexican wrestler, to stop this evil.

​So after the audience is yelled at by a bearded asshole who looks like Frank Zappa we find out the missing lesbians of Ottawa and Maxine Schreck (Max Schreck is the actor who played Count Orlock in “Nosferatu” by the way) and Johnny Golgotha (of course being named after where Christ was crucified…subtle), went missing from Father Eustace’s Parish.  So naturally he summons Jesus, the greatest vampire of all time.  Jesus gets a shave and haircut and some new threads.  Some Atheist gang up on him to beat his ass and he takes them on in a funny but absolutely arbitrary fight scene.  He meets up with Mary Magnum.  A girl who’s super power is she can wear a super tight red motorcycle outfit.   Maxine and Johnny are now Vampires who decided they can feed on lesbians because “Nobody will miss them.”

​Dr. Pretorius (a throwback to “Bride of Frankenstein”) is grafting the lesbian skin to the bodies of the vampires to allow them to walk in the daylight.  Mary gets taken by the vampires so Jesus teams up with El Santo.  They beat the shit out of dozens of vampires and stake many of them before getting beaten and staked themselves.  Finally, Father Eustace, who is now a vampire stakes Jesus but his heartlight shines on them turning the remaining vampires to dust.  The exception is Mary, whom the heartlight seems to heal. She then requests that Jesus heal Maxine so they can be together as a couple.

​This movie sucks even for camp value.   The acting is wretched, the music is abominable and the costumes are from a time not of our own.  I also think it sets the gay community back a decade or two. Hell, I think it sets the Canadian community back a decade or two.  Still, that is one awesome title.